Idiocy: Early Detection and Treatment

Idiocy is epidemic.

From politicians, we hear that wars can be won by providing jobs to the people who are trying to kill us (surveys show that many of them want to be airplane pilots). From ecologists, we hear that most species will be extinct and most natural resources depleted within a year — and this message has been repeated every year since Woodstock. From economists, we hear that economic depression is caused by “over-production,” so we will be wealthy if we stop producing wealth. From religious fundamentalists, we hear that our planet is as immobile as their minds and only slightly older.

There are two types of idiocy. Type 1 is characterized by ignorance and Type 2 by an inability or unwillingness to process information. Falling Apple Science Institute has discovered a correlation between the size of the idiot and the type of idiocy: Small idiots (who are typically children) tend to suffer from Type 1, whereas large idiots (who are typically adults) tend to suffer from Type 2. There is little hope for those afflicted with Type 2, and cases of Type 1 can progress to Type 2. Fortunately, a cure for Type 1 is being developed and tested.

Following tradition, Falling Apple Science Institute calls the cure “education.” The term is somewhat confusing because it often refers to indoctrination programs that have been causally-linked to Type 2 idiocy. But we refer to a program that develops the individual’s capacity for independent thought by providing essential knowledge and showing how it was discovered. There is strong evidence that a Type 1 idiot who is repeatedly exposed to the discovery process can be transformed into a creative, thinking individual.

To learn more about this cure, and perhaps even participate in clinical trials, visit and contact me for information.